What Did She Say?

Okay, I know that song lyrics are poetry, and much of poetry is very deep. So deep, in fact, that many folks (like, well, me, for instance), can't fathom what exactly the poet is attempting to communicate. I have a lot to say about writing that no one can understand, but that's a subject for another day.
Sometimes, understanding song lyrics is made much more difficult by the music itself. This annoys me, because I really like to sing along. I primarily do this when I'm alone in the car, so not to worry.
But this morning at Jazzercise--yes, I did go today--the lyrics in Wendy's set were particularly baffling. I would tell you what they were, but I'm sure I'd be infringing on somebody's copyright, and we can't have that. Suffice it to say that one of two things was going on: either you have to be on whatever the lyricist was on when they wrote that stuff to understand it, or, the songs were the kind you have to play backward to understand. This is my theory.
I think that all Jazzercise songs have subliminal messages. Yep, that's how they keep you coming. Some of them say things like, "Come to Jazzercise everyday or all your hair will fall out." Others--and these are the most dangerous--say things like, "Have a Mega Moo Mocha Moolatte."
The latter type are the ones I have been most exposed to. Now, you might be thinking, why would Jazzercise songs have messages encouraging you to eat badly. It's not reverse psychology, although that could make sense. No, I think it's because if people like me keep sucking down those Mega Moo Mocha Moolattes, we'll always be, well, Voluptuous, and always need Jazzercise. For the rest of our lives. That's how they keep you coming back. It's just a theory. I guess we'll never know for sure, because I don't think there's anyway to play a CD backwards.
Anyway, a few followups: Yes, I know it's been over three weeks since my last post. You cannot believe how long the list of truly bizarre (but true) reasons/excuses I have. It's almost as long as the list of reasons/excuses why I have only been to Jazzercise an average of 2.18 times per week in the last three weeks. Excuses I have in abundance. But Today is a New Day!! I have Jazzercised and Posted. I will now write for a minimum of four hours, after which I will not reward myself with a Mega Moo Mocha Moolatte. (Sigh).
Two New Jazzercise body parts I left out of the list I posted a few weeks ago: Left Head (Myra's), and Hiney (Wendy's--I almost named today's post after Wendy, because that one rhymes with her last name, but I thought better of it).
I have a clean bill of health--all the breathing tests, xrays (once they contacted the girl at WalMart and found where they had been misplaced--another story) were normal. The mysterious spot on my lung was apparently invisible to the radiologist who said a cryptic "Impression is negative chest xray" in his notes. Now, I'm not sure if I should get that second opinion my sister insists I need or not, because I'm not sure this guy knows what he's doing: As I have explained before, I definitely have a chest. How can I test negative?
I have a new refrigerator--the Kitchenaide For the Way Its Made folks and the Jeff Lynch folks brought me a brand new one when the six month old one could not be cured of Spontaneous Defrost Syndrome. They also gave me a check to cover some of the spoiled food in the freezer. I highly recommend Kitchenaide. On the rare occasion they make a lemon, they definitely provide you with free lemonade.
On another positive note, I have been writing a lot lately--one of the reasons I haven't gotten anything else done. I'm trying to get the changes and final polishing done on LCB in case I can interest anyone at the conference I'm going to in May in taking a look.
That's about it for today...talk to you tomorrow. I promise. Peace, out...