I don't do sad. I don't like to see sad movies or read sad books. And I really don't write about sad things. Disturbing things, sometimes, but never sad. There's far too must sad in reality. I like my escapism pleasant. And truth be told, I write to escape. It's like creating this alternate reality that you can climb into where you control everyone and everything. There's not a doubt in my mind that there's a clinical name for that, and somewhere, folks like me are locked up for their own protection and that of others.
Anyway, when this blog goes quiet, one of two things is happening: either I'm juggling too many balls and have dropped one, or too many sad things are going on around me. Lately, it's a little of both. I am trying to do too much. One of my personalities--y'all know I'm slightly schizophrenic, right? And before somebody gets all offended about me making fun of crazy people, just let me tell you that I'm also a hypochondriac. So I'm not sure if I'm truly schizophrenic, or if I'm just imagining it cause I sometimes exhibit the classic symptoms, but, either way, I in no way mean to ridicule crazy people. I am definitely a part of that club, either way you slice it.
I digress. One of my personalities (see above) agreed to be this year's conference chairperson for the South Carolina Writers Workshop Conference. I thought, This will be fun. And it is. It is also a job that I work at 10 - 12 hours every day. This is a volunteer position. I think it was Suzanne that agreed to this--she loves a party. Loves to entertain. This is just like something she'd stick me with. So, I'm busy.
But there's also too much sadness going on around me right now. But I can't write about that stuff--I just can't. And sometimes, it overwhelms me and I can't escape into my imaginary worlds anymore.
And now the bees. This thing with the bees isn't sad--it's scary as hell. On top of being blue, I'm freaked out by the bees. Have y'all been reading about this? I had not heard a word about it. I almost never watch the news. You rarely get good news from Fox or CNN, and I have doubts about how straight a scoop you get from any of them anyway. So I had not heard about the bees.
Then, Sunday evening we we sitting on my brother-in-law's deck having perfectly grilled steaks when a wasp flew by. I have an aversion to being stung, and wanted someone to kill it. My brother-in-law has a garden, and, who knew, wasps apparently (at least according to him) pollinate some of the stuff he grows. I want to state for the record that I have no knowledge of any of the specific crops in his field. Anyway, he wouldn't hear of swatting the wasp.
Then, he launched into this (at the time I thought typically nutcase) sermon about how all the honeybees are dying out, which will cause all of our crops to fail which will cause us all to starve. I was rolling my eyes because my brother-in-law, like most of my husband's family, (none of whom read blogs) are all loony.
Then, this morning, in the Greenville News, which I do read every morning, right there on page 6A--right beside the stuff about Iraq--is the headline, "Bee Die-off Endangers Food Chain," and a picture of a worried-looking scientist in a bee suit with a tray of dead bees. Even certifiable fruitcakes say something sane every now and again, so you can't just ignore everything that comes out of their mouths like you might think.
It seems some sort of disease or parasite has caused something called Colony Collapse Disorder. You might know they'd call it a disorder. Apparently, we now have to be politically correct when discussing bees, cause, you know, we don't want to offend. Anyway, this Disorder is responsible for U.S. beekeepers losing a quarter of their bees in the last few months. According to someone at the USDA, this is the biggest threat to our food supply. And don't you know the price of honey is going through the roof.
Here's something else to lie awake and worry about. I'm counting on what usually happens in these scenarios: tomorrow or the next day some other expert will chime in as to how this is a normal, cyclical thing--like global warming--and there's no cause for panic. And, people like me, who tend to obsess about stuff like this, will grab hold of that like a life preserver and tell ourselves that so we can sleep at night. Whether it has any basis in fact or not.