Tuesday, July 07, 2009

I Might Have Gone a Little Crazy Today

The voices in my head are singing One Step Up by Bruce Springsteen

What I'm reading: Living the Vida Lola by Misa Ramirez

Periodically, every telecommunications service we subscribe to stops working. All at the same time. They coordinate it, I think--AT&T, Direct TV, and--well, now it's just the two of them. We've bundled. But still, there is no logical connection to why my home phone is dropping calls like a cell phone in a dead spot and suddenly no one can hear me on my cell phone. I hear them fine, but callers cannot hear me shouting into the phone, "Can you hear me now?"

No, they can't.

And there should be no connection to either of those things that, not only did our Direct TV Receiver/DVR stop working, (the only fix for which involved shipping a new one over July 4th weekend) but the ENTIRE DIRECT TV COMPUTER SYSTEM IS DOWN, so they can't activate my new receiver even though I've called four times. Each time I call they tell me to try again in an hour.

They tell me this AFTER I have navigated through ten minutes talking to a voice activated system. (If I use my headphones, my cell phone works.)

AT&T reports that there's no trouble on my line. This despite the fact that when THEIR OWN SERVICE DEPARTMENT TRIED TO CALL ME THEY COULDN'T GET A CALL TO GO THROUGH.

I said (to the technician who eventually called me on my cell phone), "What happened when you tried to call?"

"It just clicked," she said.

"Doesn't that sound like a problem to you?" I asked.

"Well, yes, but it might not be our problem," she said.

"We're bundled," I said. "You're AT&T. What are the other possibilities?"

She couldn't think of any, and agreed to "override it" and send someone out tomorrow. If they can't find a problem they're going to charge me $85.

If. the. repairman. is. unable. to. find. the. problem. they. will. charge. me. $85 for. coming. out.

With apologies in advance to my mother, WTF???

I've had to medicate to avoid strangling the next person who crosses my path or perhaps setting my hair on fire. And, I'm pretty sure that these things are, in fact, connected.

I had a migraine cycle last week. My brother tells me that my migraines are caused by the isometric changes in the magnetic field as the poles struggle to find harmony. I have no idea what that means, exactly, but I'm thinking that changes in magnetic fields could disrupt telecommunications.

It's that, or there's a conspiracy afoot at AT&T and Direct TV to prevent me from finishing my second novel by keeping me on the phone talking to a computer for the next five years.

It's time for my next dose of pinot noir...

Peace, out...


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