Wednesday, September 13, 2006

The Mother of All Stupidities

Let the record reflect that I went to Jazzercise four days last week, and took two body sculpt classes. That's six classes total. This week, so far, I've been to three (Jazzercise on Monday, Body Sculpt and Jazzercise yesterday). Today, it's raining, and, while I probably won't melt, why take chances? Besides, I have work to catch up on.

The new session of Personal Torture started Monday, and I am somewhat concerned about my personal safety, as I previously committed to The Queen of Pain that I would re-enlist. However, having wisely spent all my pocket money on Bushwackers at The Beach Bar, day trips to the British Virgin Islands, and over-indulgent meals while in St. John, I have no money left for Personal Torture. Sad but true. I subscribe with wild abandon to the "sha-la-la-la-la-la live for today" philosophy.

Anyway, to make up for the lack of torture in my life, I took a sucker bet. Demon Diane bet me she could get in fifty classes before me, starting on Sunday. She stipulated that she wouldn't count the classes she taught or her Personal Torture, and told me she was taking two weeks of vacation. Sounds like a no brainer, right? I mean, how could she possibly win that? So I took the bet.

What I did not stop to consider (and here's where the stupidity comes in) is that Demon Diane has an obsessive compulsive exercise disorder. She's a size four, who (the last time I checked) was going to Jenny Craig). She exercises in her sleep. She will crush me. As The Queen of Pain herself wisely inquired, "What was I thinking?"

I'm up to 3 classes. I'll bet she's at about ten...no, wait, if she took every class but hers, she's probably at eleven by now...

Peace, out...

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

There is no reason to be evil about it!!!! For you information, I am a size 6, not a 4 and I have only been to 3 classes this week, so far!!!! So we are even! You would be ahead if you had come to my class this morning! So let me say loud and proud with my tongue sticking out PSSSSSTTTTT! And I of course say that with all the love I have! See you Friday! :)

Susan Boyer said...

Evil? Moi?

No, no, no...I am the innocent victim of your clever scheme to reduce me to a large pile of muscle spasms. And only your baggy clothes are sixes. And I say that with all the envy in my heart.

Anonymous said...

You would have had WAY better chances of winning if you had bet me instead... QoP

Susan Boyer said...

Maybe, but...there's something inherently scary about betting with The Queen of Pain. It's something you just don't do...calls to mind that old Charlie Daniels song, "The Devil Went Down to Georgia". Of course, the devil did lose that bet...

elysabeth said...

egads - so now everything is hinging on the weather? hum - and this has to be done by Christmas, 50 classes? - okay middle of September and 3 classes a week - at 14 weeks (roughly give or take a few days since there are some holidays in there and I'm sure that there will be no classes several times during those weeks) - you can only get 42 in unless you double up and do more some weeks - because more than 3 seems really like you are killing yourself to prove that you can stick something - exercise routines are recommended at 3 times a week for 30 to 45 minutes a day (of course if you are obsessed, then you are doing the routines 6 days a week for 3 hours a day - lol - not this girl) - so I wouldn't worry about killing yourself trying to get the "bet" in, I'd get a definite routine in and just go that way - if you know you can do 3 classes a week, without undue strain on you physically or financially, then you set that as your goal. If you can do 4 or 5 days a week, one class per day, then go for it but remember you do have other things going on - so don't set the unrealistic goal and then have to fall by the wayside due to circumstances beyond your control - slow and steady wins the race more times than not - E :)

SallyMaria said...

I got your blog off SCWW correspondence. After reading your work I can only say that I hope you are writing articles for papers....Your good!

Susan Boyer said...

Hey Sally!

Thanks for checking out the blog, and for the positive feedback! We writers always love that, don't we? One of my New Year's resolutions is to do a better job of regularly posting to the blog. It's a long, long list...
Take care!

Susan